i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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