You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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