she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
