He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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