i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
