so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i now understand why vodka
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
