this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
