I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
