Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My feet surprised me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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