I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
