whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
