I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
