my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
