I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
