He told me they were just razor bumps!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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