So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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