Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
