bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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