just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
