New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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