operation harelip BJ is a go
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
