can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
