you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
that's an acceptable place to lick
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
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