i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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