Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
