All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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