Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
