he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
