do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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