Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
