you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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