Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
