and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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