I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
