O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
