These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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