The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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