He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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