just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
