What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
