i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
