I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize