How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
