did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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