i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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