blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
