I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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