Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
