I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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