My cat gives me a boner
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
