It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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