I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
