Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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