Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
