maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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