Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
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