I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
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Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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