It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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