Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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