my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Im part way to drunk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize