i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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