2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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